Monday, November 10, 2014

Any Ol' Iron?

Yes, Yes! I am here!
Only I have had no internet connection for almost a week.
Infuriating.
However, have kept busy and have added another feather to my cap, and another job description to my ever lengthening CV. I can now add Haulage Contractor  to the other professions I have exercised. 
These include in vaguely chronological order: Baby Sitter, Singer; Potato harvester (with my cousin Eva. We got the  sack almost straight away because we  put an awful lot of potato leaves on top of the potatoes in each crate...), Waitress, Go-Go Dancer, Disc Jockey, Grapefruit/ Orange/ Strawberry/Gooseberry/ Avocado picker, Laundry worker, Movie Extra, Fashion Model, Party arranger, Florist, Fashion Designer, Theatrical Prop Maker, Interior Decorator, Photographer, Motorcycle Courier, Receptionist, Sculptor, Journalist , Academic, Painter, Potter, Installation Artist, Hotelier, Textile Designer. I am certain the list is much longer.
I think it might be worth adding it to the list of remedies on sleepless nights: rather than counting sheep or ex-lovers one could of course also count ex- professions. The rules are simple:   one has to have earned money for the doing of the  particular profession, even if it is only a little and only once.

But I digress, as is my want. Let me get back to the point, which the launching of my career as a haulage contractor, if that is how to describe what we are doing?...

It is like this:   Some time ago I attacked the Dutch Prince Claus Foundation in connection with  the vast amount of metal and plastic tree surrounds that are littering the Djenne archaeological sites because of a tree planting scheme initiated by them that went wrong. They have turned out to be thoroughly good sports and have taken this problem very seriously indeed. They have in fact  employed me and  Malimali to get rid of the said tree surrounds! They are to be dug up and buried in deep graves on the outside perimeter of the archaeological sites where the trees were intended to protect erosion.
I have enlisted Ace as a foreman for the 15-20 labourers and the work started last week- a two month project will clean up the country side around these sites and ensure that people and animals are not cutting themselves on rusty metal, as well as returning the scenery back to its original peaceful aspect. Hurrah for Prince Claus of the Netherlands! 

12 Comments:

Blogger David said...

Let's hope they can fund the next, more positive steps.

Any shots of you as a go-go dancer? You will remember, and I blush before the world to reveal it, our amusement at all the old fashion mags your ma had kept from your high-class modelling years. And you were a bit miffed because you thought we were laughing at you, but not so - you were gorgeous as always, but those 80s fashions were just such a hoot. And the Burberry link still tickles me.

6:29 PM  
Blogger toubab said...

Well, David, there is an absolutely hilarious one of me and my collegue go-go dancer Mia standing with our thigh length leather boots akimbo the DJ of a Malmo nightclub who is lying on the floor as a vanquished hippo. But not on this computer alas...

7:52 PM  
Blogger mary said...

And which is, or was, your favourite job?
Excellent result on the tree guards. Will the next tranche of employment be tree planting?

10:03 PM  
Blogger toubab said...

Hmmm, Mary.... difficult question. Maybe the best is still to come?

10:55 PM  
Blogger Susan Scheid said...

Your resume has always been impressive (and eclectic) to me, but to have it listed off like this is something else. You do remind me of one small vocation I had for about a minute and a half, as an Avon lady, selling door to door. I went out with a "master" saleswoman first day, and she immediately shocked me when she entered a house and sprayed it with a vile strawberry "air freshener." I was even more appalled when folks I sold to wanted it, particularly as it was clear they couldn't afford it at all. I ended up giving everyone what they'd purchased for free . . . that didn't go down well.

10:55 PM  
Blogger toubab said...

You make me laugh, Susan! Although we have never met, I have of course an idea of you, and I can assure you it is not of an 'Avon-Lady'! Meanwhile, I have remembered some more ex-professions and added them to the list...

5:32 AM  
Blogger David said...

Ding dong! You can picture me as a furniture remover if you like, helping to get wardrobes through windows on the south coast in one of the hottest summers ever. I lasted three weeks before, frail thing as I then was, I went down with a fever.

9:28 AM  
Blogger David said...

PS - Mary, Sophie, best yet to come - maybe the best job will be our grande dame following in the footsteps of her beloved Princess Lulli, reclining in her Stockholm salon, receiving and entertaining. Though to be honest successful hotelier and constructor of a top-rated Mali mud hotel, followed by African fabric entrepreneur, can NEVER be topped.

9:31 AM  
Blogger toubab said...

The image of my favourite Culture Vulture as furniture removal man is almost as hilarious and unlikely as my second favourite Culture Vulture as an Avon Lady! (sorry I KNOW you don't like me to call you that David...)Yes,and of course I LOVE the vision you have of me as a future Grande Dame in a Stockholm salon David,following in Lulie's footsteps... if only.

9:48 AM  
Blogger David said...

Well, didn't you receive folk at your last Ladbroke Grove salon in a bubble bath? This hard work is merely an intermezzo before you can resume the luxury to which you were all too accustomed...

2:46 PM  
Blogger Susan Scheid said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

6:01 PM  
Blogger Susan Scheid said...

Well, this just gets funnier and funnier! Needless to say I am SO relieved my public persona doesn't suggest Avon Lady. (And David's certainly doesn't suggest furniture remover.) Sophie and Grande Dame in a Stockholm salon surely does make sense to me!

6:04 PM  

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